Motherhood
by FisticusCullen
Summary: Breaking Dawn/Canon/Fluff! During Bella's angsty pregnancy Edward realises the loving nature of his child and becomes completely enamoured while Bella comes to terms with being a mother. Slight angst/major fluff - more chapters to come. Rated T for safety.
1. Realisations

Jake was gone. My sun and support that had never failed me had run off into the woods. He'd left nothing, no parting goodbye or so much as a furious growl for me to remember – the muddy footprints on Esme's gorgeous white carpet were the only evidence he'd ever been here.

Rosalie rose up to shut the gaping front door, a somewhat sympathetic grimace on her face – for they both shared the same pain, the pain of knowing that they'd never have what they'd desired for so long. Rosalie would never have a baby of her own, and Jake would never have me. Edward was silent in stunned panic, still in a protective crouch he'd assumed when he'd first seen Jacob's heartbreak and fury through his facial features.

And me? My arms wrapped protectively around my large stomach, I stared after him, despite the fact he'd been gone for a decent ten seconds. Conflicting emotions battled in my mind; anger, annoyance and at myself for presenting my perfect life to him; parading around my happy family, husband and son to his face while he silently suffered the agony of loneliness.

Annoyance at him was extremely prominent though, for Jake should've have known that he'd never have me, and that even hoping that I'd love him was futile. And the fact that he got his hopes up to think that I'd ever stop loving Edward to be with him annoyed me endlessly. Jacob had caused this pain himself.

Love still coursed through me, though, as less than a minute ago Edward had looked at me no longer with pained eyes of a boy who suffered at the hands of Satan, but the wide eyes of man as he felt his son kick from the womb of his wife. I was still running on the high of finally having Edward coming around to seeing the baby the way I saw him, as a manifestation of mine and Edward's love and as the best thing to ever have happened to us. I saw the hope and absolute adoration in my husband's eyes and I'd nearly screamed in elation.

Each emotion battled the other in valiant attempts to gain control of my tired and battered emotional state.

A soft, gentle kick nudged my hand that rested on my stomach and love melted through me, destroying any traces of the other emotions and completely wiping out memories of Jacob's pain.

Tears swam in my eyes as I pressed my hand more firmly against my stomach as if to reply to my little nudger.

I looked down at my stomach and the tears flowed relentlessly. My baby, my baby, my –

"Bella?" Edward's soft voice broke through my hysterical reverie and he lifted my chin with his finger so I met his eyes. His eyes were soft, yet wary of what was wrong, as if speaking gently to a delicate child. He's going to be such a good father...the mental image floating around my mind nearly finished me off.

"What's wrong?" he enquired softly, then suddenly panicked "Is it the baby?" His hands shot to my stomach to feel if there was a problem. EJ nudged back at the feel of his father's cold skin.

The baby, my mind chorused, he said baby without hesitation! The tears returned full force and the full realisation set in, no longer was I alone in this, no longer did Edward believe the baby was an abhorrence, and no longer was EJ 'my baby', he was 'our baby'.

"No," I sniffled, resting my hands over Edward's on my stomach, "it's not the baby," I hiccupped and met his eyes, "It's you."

Rosalie's laugh resonated around the room, shaking free the emotional atmosphere and replacing it with one of humour, "Finally, Bella!" she giggled, a sound I'd never heard before, "you have come to see there is something wrong with Edward! Congratulations!"

I smiled weakly at her, my cheeks soaked through with salt water.

"So what was the deciding point for you? Was it the fact he fell in love with a human, albeit it, a nice one? Or was it the simple fact that he abstained from sex for so long?"

I attempted a weak laugh before turning to face Edward again, his face was still wary.

"What's wrong," I explained, "is that nothing's wrong. Everything's perfect."

A small smile grew on his beautiful face and I dived (as safely and carefully as is possible with my frontal extension) into Edward's arms and cried into his shoulder, "You love our baby." I cried.

"Yes, both of you," he admitted quietly, "so much. So goddamned much." He kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth slowly, comforting me as the tears died down, and after a few seconds, he stood up with me still in his arms and sat down on the couch with me across his lap.

A moving shape in my peripheral vision caught my attention and I turned to see Rosalie sit, legs crossed, on the carpet in the space Edward had previously occupied.

"I love you," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into my hair, completely ignoring our company.

"I love you more," I smiled.

"I love you most," he returned, his smile carried across on his voice. I rolled my eyes and began to think of a witty retort, when I felt his light touch trace against my abdomen, "and you too, little guy."

I whimpered almost inaudibly, but of course the vampires heard, "Bella?" they chorused warily.

"Hormones," I whispered through the strain of holding back tears. Edward laughed heartily and gathered me closer into his embrace while Rosalie simply smiled.


	2. Raging Hormones

**Hey guys, Mrsleezcullen here! I literally just published the last chapter, but I've been in secluded Scotland for the past few weeks, so that means no internet and lots of writing time, so there is loads of this story written but unpublished. I felt bad about leaving you with that measly taster, so here's more, and this is where the angst is introduced. **

**Enjoy! And please review, they mean so much to me :)**

"What's the baby thinking now, Edward?" Rosalie enquired, clearly bored with the lovey-dovey business.

Edward leaned over my stomach, a large smile on his face and pressed an ear to my stomach.

"Are you hungry, by any chance?" Edward grinned at me, and suddenly I became aware of the emptiness in my stomach. Rosalie disappeared into the kitchen to, I imagine, get me some blood.

I nodded at him, "How did you know?" I asked, embarrassed by the prospect that he might be hearing my stomach growling over the sound of the baby's thoughts.

"The baby's thought's were centring around the feeling of emptiness of the stomach," he explained.

"Really?! My god, that's amazing. The first few months are going to be easier than we thought if you can just tell what the baby wants whenever he cries."

"Doesn't that just take all the fun out of parenting?" Rosalie asked, returning with a plastic cup and straw.

"I wouldn't know," I smiled, "it's only my first child." I joked.

The atmosphere immediately fell flat.

And then it dawned on me that the wording of my sentence implied something else... This would be my first and _only _child. I wasn't stupid and neither were Edward and Rosalie – they both knew that making it through labour as a vampire would be lucky, but coming out that ordeal as a human would be near miraculous and for me to be able to heal enough and become pregnant again and carry another child would be breaking the limits of impossibilities.

"Bella –" Edward started to say.

"I know." I told him curtly, effectively ending the possibility of _that_ conversation.

"What's EJ thinking now?" I changed the subject and taking a sip of blood.

"Bella..." Edward sighed, apparently the novelty of having a baby had worn off, "I want to discuss his name..."

"Oh, well, I thought because your father was Edward and you are too, that maybe we could carry on the heritage of it, and also fit your original last name in somewhere, Edward Masen the third... don't you like the sound of that? Besides I thought it was traditional to name boys after their fathers...?"

"Jacob isn't his father." He told me. Obviously, he'd figured the 'J' in 'EJ' wasn't for junior.

"But he's done so much for us, Edward, without him we wouldn't be here –"

"You guys do know that there's a fifty-fifty chance that this baby could also be a girl right? So arguing over a name that the baby might not even have is pointless," Rosalie intercepted, "Besides, I'd rather have you two go all gooey-romantic on me than hear Bella's speech on 'the glory that is Jacob Black'."

Edward turned to me, smiling brightly, "She has a point, EJ could be a Renesmee," he admitted. Although, I thought, the reason he's trying to end this is because he doesn't want to hear me glorifying Jake either.

"And besides," I smile, "you shouldn't ever argue with a pregnant woman."

"Never." He grins and leans down to kiss me on my lips. I press my lips against his harder and feel the burn between me thighs that I hadn't felt for at least a few weeks... and god did it feel good.

I attempted at moving closer to him, but failed miserably as my stomach got in the way. Edward, though, managed to manoeuvre me so my stomach was straight against his rock hard abs (oh, god, those abs...) and my breasts were flush against his chest – all without breaking lip contact.

"I'm leaving," I heard from Rosalie. _That's fine with me_, I thought.

I could feel the passion growing and growing and my lady area getting warmer and warmer and... oh my god... wet?

I groaned and pulled back from the kiss. I was never this turned on by a simple kiss, then I remembered that pregnancy meant heightened states of arousal and some women could orgasm just through kissing when carrying child.

"What's the problem?" he breathed, running his lips up my jaw.

"We need to stop." I tell him seriously.

"Why?" He sits up straight.

"I can't tell you – it's embarrassing."

"Bella, anything concerning you or our baby is important to me, besides you shouldn't feel embarrassed about anything around me."

I groan and bury my head in his neck, "We just need to stop, okay?"

He raised an eyebrow.

I sighed in resignation, "Okay, if we don't stop soon then I'll... you know?" How on earth do you say the word 'orgasm' in front of Edward when his sister's listening in upstairs?

"No, Bella, I don't know what you're on about," his voice is genuine.

"I'm really turned on right now, okay?! And if we don't stop, I'm going to orgasm in your parents' living room with your sister just upstairs and I just can't do that!" I exploded in irrational fury – why can't he just read my mind and see my reasoning?! It would make life so much easier.

Edward's expression seemed shocked at my outburst and he quickly averted his eyes from my face – was he terrified of me when I was this angry?

It was then that I noticed his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. No, he most definitely wasn't afraid of me. He was laughing at me.

"Edward!" I moaned in complaint.

"I'm sorry, love," he laughed, "You're just so funny when you're angry."

That was the wrong thing to say.

"Edward! Please?! Why can't you just see things my way?! I'm really struggling to keep my emotions in check and it does _not_ help when you start making fun of me! Now I know I haven't been fabulous these past few weeks but I'm trying, I'm really trying to stay constant and not lash out!" I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

The laughing stopped abruptly, "Bella, honey, please, look at me, I'm really sorry." His fingers found my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his.

"Bella? I'm genuinely so sorry. You have no idea how sorry. I know_ I've _been awful to _you_ through the most part of this pregnancy and it physically hurts me to know that I ever rejected our baby or upset you – those are the last things I'd ever want to do. And I'm so sorry for teasing you just then, I'm so happy that I've finally figured out everything out that I just got carried away with the moment and I just –"

"It's okay, Edward. I'm happy too, just ignore me."

I leant forward for a gentle kiss and thankfully, while the smouldering fire still burnt in the pit of my stomach, the kiss didn't exacerbate it.

The kiss lasted approximately two seconds before both Edward and I jumped at a feeling in both of our stomachs.

EJ was clearly feeling left out and decided to kick Edward through my skin to get himself known.

"Whoa," Edward gasped, immediately pulling away from the kiss as his hands went between us to rest on my stomach, "What was that about?"

"I think he was just feeling left out, I think he likes being the centre of attention," I smiled.

"Well, he's going to have to be, this family's not going to leave him alone when he's born." Edward agreed.

"He's going to be such a beautiful baby if his father's anything to go by." I told Edward sincerely.

Edward avoided my eyes – clearly embarrassed – as he repositioned me on the couch so I was lying on my back; he leant over me and placed his hands on my stomach ever so gently.

"Bella...?" Edward asked hesitantly, "May I...?" he gestured to the hem of my top and began to lift it up.

I was reluctant for him to see my bruises, but conceded when I saw the desperation in my husband's eyes.

He lifted my shirt so it folded up just underneath my breasts and I could see him straining to conceal his emotion as he viewed the light scattering of bruises on my skin.

"God forgive me..." I heard him say under his breath.

"TO HELL HE WILL!" A loud voice interrupted.

Edward shot up into a protective stance in front of me and I sat up as quickly as possible, yanking my shirt down to cover my stomach before lifting my gaze to survey the intruder.


	3. Revelations

**Hey guys! New chapter! Short, but I shall update again in a few minutes as I haven't given you anything to read for the past few days and I felt bad. Especially after that cliffie.**

**MAJOR thanks to**** sholtsclaw698****, you're my first reviewer and your words meant a lot to me and spurred me on to write more, so, once again, thank you and enjoy this little chappie :)**

"You sick bastard! What the fuck have you done to her?!" Leah's voice echoed around the room and I looked up to find her standing in the doorway wearing only a long shirt – possibly one of Emmett's that Esme had donated to the wolves when they'd volunteered to help us.

Rosalie appeared in front of me, next to Edward, also providing protection from Leah.

"You know what? Whatever you've done to her, she probably deserves it, the selfish bitch!"

Edward growled at her and took a step forward.

"What? You're defending her from words? True words at that, you know you're a selfish little bitch, don't you Bella? Dragging along these two boys as if they're dolls – well, you know what? You're not as high and mighty as you think you are! You're worthless!" She yelled at me.

"Back off, Leah! You know nothing about this!" Edward growled.

But the words were true. I had dragged Jake along for a ride when it came to my romance with Edward, I'd always assumed he'd been there as a friendly companion to help me through the hard times and even when he'd revealed his true affection for me I'd still used him as stability.

She took a step closer to me and Edward crouched as if he was about to pounce.

"Hey, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt her, I wouldn't touch that bitch with a ten foot barge pole-"

"Shut your mouth, Leah, before I catapult you into Canada." Rosalie growled.

"Why should I? This girl needs to know the truth!"

Rosalie retorted something, but I didn't hear.

Images and memories of Jacob flittered through my mind's eye and I felt my body heave with sobs; the young Jake – so proud of having fixed a truck himself, a matured Jacob – attempting to explain the comeback of werewolves with the presence of vampires, an elated Jacob as I pulled away, guilty and sickened by my actions, from our first kiss and finally, I saw his face from ten minutes ago, so broken and shocked, his face crumbling from boredom to complete despair as he'd viewed Edward and my happy family.

He was so broken, oh, I hope to God he's not doing anything stupid... _it's your fault_, my mind told me_, if he dies, it's your fault_.

"Oh god, I'm s- s- so sorry." I sobbed into my lap and Edward abandoned his protective stance to calm me.

"It's not me you should be apologising to." She sneered.

"You don't owe anyone an apology Bella," Rosalie seethed, then turned back to Leah, "in fact, if any apologies are owed here, it's because Leah needs to get her massive head out her asshole and stop fighting for something that doesn't concern her!"

Leah started to open her mouth again before Edward stepped in with the loudest, most primal growl I'd heard ever leap from his lips, "Leave, _now_, Leah, before I hurt you."

"Do I get one of your ridiculously ostentatious cars to drive away in as well? Or is that courtesy only extended to Bella's past conquests?"

A roar ripped from Edward's mouth, startling both myself and the baby, and EJ kicked violently.

Edward's attention was abruptly pulled away from the furious girl in front of him to me when an earth shattering scream jumped from lips and sobs wracked my body like waves in a storm.

"Bella, you need to calm down, the baby's getting anxious," Edward told me seriously through the haze of pain.

"You need to leave now, Leah. Or so help me I will pull you apart limb by limb." The complete darkness in Rosalie's eyes as those words left her mouth terrified me, but only seemed to slightly displace Leah as she shrunk back a few feet.

I cowered in Edward's embrace, as my body endured the kicks of my panicking child. I could see red as the absolute agony raced through my body.

My back arched as I fell into a lying position on the couch, I moaned pathetically and whimpered with renewed pain at every shot EJ made.

Through the pain I made out the image of Leah's shocked face as she viewed the pain I experienced at the hands of my own child.

"Bella," Edward pleaded, "just relax. Don't listen to her."

But the pain increased ten-fold as I remembered the truth she spoke, my cries and sobs exacerbating the baby's panic. _How I wish that this pain could make right the wrong I did to Jake_. "Oh, Jake, I'm sorry." I cried, curling into myself.

The shock on Leah's face rapidly faded to calmed resolution as she softly spoke the words, "You deserve this."

"GO _NOW_!" Rosalie nearly screamed.

Leah turned to shoot me one last glare before turning and running out the door, swiftly making the transformation into wolf form the second her human feet left the porch.

**Please drop a review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is ****_always_**** welcome.**


	4. Riding the High of Love

**Hello again, faithful followers of Motherhood! And to some of my favourite people in the world: my reviewers! Once again, mega thanks to ****sholtsclaw698****! Thank you once again for your kind words, you're awesome! I hope you like this next chapter!**

**And a new reviewer ****jerseyhalliwell****, thank you so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me! This chapter is a longer than any of the others because my reviewers are just the coolest, so, enjoy! **

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My breathing was heavy and laboured as the baby continued to thrash beneath my skin.

Rosalie quickly approached me, and attempted to calm me down with Edward.

"Take a breath." One said.

"Relax your muscles." The other added.

"Go to your happy place, Bella." I recognised this voice as Rosalie's.

My heightened state of emotion was soon lowered to a bearable tone where I was able to suppress the body-shuddering sobs, but still the baby continued to kick at my gut.

"It's not working, Rosalie, the baby's still in distress, we need to calm him down before he seriously hurts her!"

Rosalie looked at Edward with fear in her eyes, "How?"

Edward looked into my eyes before lifting my shirt up to expose my now black and blue belly. "Hush," Edward spoke, rubbing his hands softly up and down my stomach.

And then he did something neither Rosalie or I was expecting and what he did completely halted my cries.

He began to sing a sweet tune, a lullaby, to our baby. "Hush, little baby, relax, calm down, otherwise you'll hurt your mommy – you don't want to do that, do you?" his voice was soothing and I felt myself melt into the molten tone of his words. His eyes met mine briefly.

"Shh," he whispered, before humming the tune again, and within seconds, our wriggling offspring had calmed down and was only slightly fidgeting.

"There, there," he whispered, and traced his hands over a strange shaped bump on my already large stomach.

"Oh my god..." Rosalie and I chorused in awe as we realised the strange perturbing object was actually a tiny foot straining against the confines of my skin.

"Edward," I cried, "look! That's his foot!"

Edward looked up at me, "I know, love, he's grown so much."

"Can I touch it?" Rosalie asked hesitantly, reaching out with her hand to my belly.

"Sure," I smiled, trying to restrain my excitement.

I flinched when her hands made contact with my stomach – Edward knew with what pressure to touch me with, but Rosalie was still slightly inexperienced on this front.

"Careful, Rosalie," Edward warned, "she's got new bruises and they look painful."

Rosalie was studiously ignoring him and was gently running her fingers over each individual toe that poked against my skin.

"One... two... three..." she counted, "four... five. Five little perfect toes on one perfect little foot," she grinned at me. "Oh, Bella, thank you so much for bringing a baby into this family, really, thank you!"

"Hey, I can't be held completely responsible," I joked, "it takes two to tango." I gestured at Edward, blushing profusely.

He rolled his eyes, but grinned his perfect crooked grin that always melted me. I giggled pathetically like an infatuated schoolgirl and felt the baby move inside me, trying to stretch his leg further out of my stomach.

I adjusted my body so that the baby shifted and moved his leg into a more comfortable position.

"Ahh," I sighed in relief when I felt my already too-stretched skin no longer stretched by a protruding foot.

I felt much better, but when I looked up at my husband's glorious face, his mood seemed to have worsened.

"What's the matter?" I asked hesitantly, not sure I wanted to know – everything today had gone nearly perfectly and the look on his face told me everything wasn't so perfect.

His worried eyes met mine.

"I think it's time to consider an earlier delivery date, Bella, his growth is progressing much faster than Carlisle or myself thought." I could tell the idea was practical, but both me and Edward sure as hell didn't savour the fact that it was true – we'd wanted to put off my change as long as possible.

An earlier delivery date? I hadn't even thought about a later delivery date... I hadn't even thought of the delivery at all. I'd put it to the back of my mind each time it came up, simply content with being pregnant with Edward's child... but the baby couldn't stay in my womb forever and while I knew this subconsciously, I never really acknowledged this fact. I just knew that I had the most amazing life growing within me and one day I'd see Edward teaching him the basics of baseball...

And now that I was thinking about it... it completely terrified me.

Terrified me to a point of complete blackness and morbidity of the mind as I imagined the worse possible pain mixed in with the pain from what I'd heard about contractions and caesareans and... what came after the delivery...

My change.

What I'd always wanted, but never really knew anything about. And while I internally panicked about what child labour would be like, I forcibly refused to let myself think about my change.

One look, however, at my bloated stomach and all the pain I'd imagined, although still scary, was totally worth it.

"Since I can hear his thoughts and see fully developed limbs, I think our original model of this pregnancy is wrong – he's much further advanced – and it would actually be safer for him to be delivered sooner..."

Gone was my doting daddy-Edward and in his place was a formal doctor. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

In a sitting position I curled my legs up against my stomach – I couldn't wait to meet our baby, our gorgeous baby boy... but was I ready to let my baby face the world and to not have my body for protection?

I guess I had to be.

"How soon?"

There was hesitance in his eyes.

"Tell me, Edward, how much sooner?" Impatience coloured my tone.

"Tomorrow." His voice was the embodiment of regret.

But as soon as the word left his mouth, a low hiss resonated around the room and I looked to find Rosalie as the source. I was surprised – up until now from when Edward had his revelation, she'd been mostly neutral on subjects concerning the baby's welfare – stepping back to give Edward and myself full parental choice.

"NO," she hissed.

"Why not, Rosalie? If it's better for the baby then-" I tried telling her, my eyes wide.

"How do we know it's better for the baby, Bella?" Rosalie's tone had softened from her hiss, but still retained the characteristics of a complacent person.

"Because Edward said so-"

"Oh, because Edward said so? You shouldn't trust everything you hear, you know? Especially from Mr. Bullshitter here." She interrupted.

"...And because I trust him and his judgement," I finished, ignoring her; "Also, you don't need Edward to tell you that the baby is obviously uncomfortable and too big for gestational growth now, it's a matter of practicality now. Besides, I don't believe Edward would do anything wrong by our baby, now."

Edward smiled warmly at me, "please believe me, Rosalie, or if not me, then believe the facts – you've studied medicine, and somewhere within that, caring for pregnant women, feel her stomach. The facts are there, and while I know you can't read minds, you can take this from someone who can; the baby is uncomfortable in there, he's keeping as still as possible as not to hurt Bella, but his limbs are cramping because of the lack of space."

There was conflict in Rosalie's eyes as she leant forward and measured her hands across my stomach. I could pinpoint the moment she realised Edward was right because her brow creased minutely and her mouth tightened into a straight line.

After a few more seconds she leant back on her heels before focusing her eyes on me, "and you're okay with this?"

I nodded – I knew nothing aside from the basics when it came to pregnancy, and while I'd been sitting here for the long month of my pregnancy I was far too busy throwing up to read 'What to expect when you're expecting'. This wasn't a standard pregnancy anyways, so I couldn't read up on it if I'd even been able to.

Practically, and removing myself emotionally, I was totally okay with this – I put my faith in the both of them and their judgements.

But emotionally replacing myself into the situation? I was very much not okay with it.

_Tomorrow_?! Tomorrow was less than twelve hours away... at what point tomorrow would it happen? Would Carlisle be back in time? Would Edward do it? What if something went wrong? How much would it hurt? Would my baby be okay? Oh god, oh god, oh god...

"Yeah, I'm completely fine with it, I just want to meet him." I congratulated myself at the impermeable concealment of my emotional hysteria.

"Me too," Edward smiled.

"Me three." Rosalie added, rolling her eyes.

I yawned lightly as I felt the very familiar coaxing mist of sleep lightly wrap its arms around me.

"You need to sleep, Bella," Edward told me, "You've had an exhausting day."

I nodded at him, not bothering to argue. My eyes slipped half closed.

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